Good byeee!!

Well now. It's way past my bedtime - C's already busy making Zs next door, whence I intend to follow momentarily. However, there are two things I wanted to say ere I leave; A) This blog will be taking a bit of a Christmas sabbatical as it's main author will be gallumphing around the beautiful US of A for a week or two. However, I will be hanging out with fellow Raja Rani lover kneecaps there AND I will be taking a gazillion squillion pictures. So, chances are fairly good-ish that, at some point, something or other will be blogged... We'll see - talk to y'alls in January at the latest. B) So what if this is blindingly, crushingly obvious? I don't care - Merry Chrismahanukwanzakah to all of you! Whatever you believe in or disbelieve, I hope that you'll all be having a good old time with friends, family or whoever you like surrounding yourselves with (okay, that opens up all sorts of opportunities for jokes, satire, etc.). Anyway, I'm praying that the God I believe in might bless you all in 2006. SEEEEEEEYAAAAA!!!!!

La bocca del cavallo, again

Ah, yesh, he's done it again! The fabulous Horses Mouth posted a wonderful piece on blog tagging (Eeeeww!), along with this fabulous feline photograph. Now, isn't that nice? Check his/her/its blog for some Santa fun and boating stuff, too...

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Yay, yay, yay!

Kentucky, here we come!!! Sooo excited... Teeth are all sorted out (okay, so I have to go see my dentist again today AND tomorrow), passports have arrived, seats would appear to still be available on the flight in question. Woohoo!

Brand New Day

Monday, monday, monday!! And good news on the doorstep, too - Ms Osthoff has been freed, it's snowing AND the bloke from the rat house just left a message that I can come round and pick up my passport! Yay! Which means that C and I really are heading stateside in just a couple of days' time! Nashville, here we come... BTW, this is probably un-PC to the nth degree, but I can't quite resist pointing out that one of the aforementioned city's finest attractions is actually called the gaylord opry. It features (I kid you not) the Gaylord Springs among its attractions. It appears this is a golf course (I'm fist-fighting my urge to make foolish jokes about playing with balls as I write). Al Jarreau is singing at me as I type. One phrase just floated past my ears that stuck somehow (yes, I know, I should go and take a wash). In his rendition of "My Favourite Things" (the old Hammerstein tune from, yes, "The Sound of Music"), he sings about Schnitzel with noodles. Well, now - I don't remember the SOM very well, but I'm sure the aforementioned combination would have most of Austria and larger parts of southern Germany raising their pitchforks and twirling their moustaches in angry protest. I can hear 'em now "Zis is wrong. You must always eat Schnitzel wiz Pomm Fritz, er, French Fries!" It is true, though - no self-respecting German traditionalist, let alone an Austrian (Austria being the self-acclaimed home of the Wiener Schnitzel) would go near a Schnitzel with NOODLES! That's waaay too Italian for us round here! What was Mr Hammerstein thinking when he so ill-informedly convoluted what is still the cultural stereotype many Brits and Americans apply when thinking of the Vaterland and its surrounding neighbours? I'm SO glad I now have this very public soapbox on which to stand and correct the man! "So!" (The mouth-watering image, by the way, is courtesy of the fabulous Michael Schubert and his website mkschubert.de Well, cheerio then, and don't forget: Schnitzel goes with fries, NOT noodles (my fierce German moustache is bristling at the thought)!

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Sunday musings

Here's my first vaguely political blog entry. I'm just back from reading about US Vice-President Dick Cheney's surprise visit to Iraq (courtesy of the Beeb feed). While I have no intent of making this a political blog in any way or form, the report did raise the odd question for me. The first one being, why was this a surprise visit without prior announcement? Was it planned, or did it just randomly come up? What kind of diplomat would make a surprise visit to any country? Was Mr Cheney concerned for his own safety, and thought that springing a surprise would minimise the risk of an attack on his person? In that case, let's just stop announcing official visits from politicians, royalty, etc. altogether. That would significantly reduce any chances for terrorists to do their thing, at least when wanting to attack politicians. Okay, so preparing for an impromptu visit by someone important is a logistical nightmare for an unsuspecting host country, but hey, you can't win 'em all. Plus, by introducing such forms of protocol, terrorists would automatically be reduced to attacking politicians on their home turf, or they might have to go back to what they're best at anyway - attacking defenceless civilians in crowded trains, high-rise buildings, etc. Yes, I'm intentionally overstating my point here... I'm sure there may have been good reasons for Mr Cheney's lack of prior information. However, the US as the world's current only superpower doesn't exactly have a track record of excellence when it comes to diplomacy in dealing with friendly countries, allies, etc. I just hope there were valid reasons, as opposed to the attitude of haughty disregard that might well be read from behaviour like this. Okay, moving on... On a much lighter note, C and I are just back from the oh-so-romantic "Weihnachtsmarkt" in Heidelberg, having nosed around there with C's sister and husband and C's parents. Weather was perfect - cold with a touch of snow but not too harsh a wind. The family visit was triggered by our short-notice decision to go visit our friends Brian, MK & James over Christmas, by the way. We won't be around for the fest, so C's family came crowding around today instead, bearing presents and well-wishes for our holidays. This is one of the things I appreciate most about the family I married into - they really show love in practical ways, by coming round, phoning, keeping in touch, etc. I'm not saying my side of the family doesn't show love - far from it. But somehow, C's bunch have this really strong sense of belonging together, and I just love being a part of that. Families - yay! I must be going soft...

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All God's Creatures

Oh Yesh! Just found this beauty of a picture of one of my all-time favourite animals... Courtesy of the wonderful Sloth Web Site. Rockin'... I'n't that lovely? Sloths are ab-so-lutely awesome as far as I can see - both metaphorically and in the flesh. I mean, just look at the grin the little fella's wearing. He's like: hey hepcat, this is the good life, baby! Come chill with me for a bit, we'll just, sort of, hang off the bottom of a tree limb for a bit, eh, chew some leaves, ya know... Duude! I been hanging on this tree quite some time now, and believe me, it sure beats driving a desk, man. I mean, I get, like, fifteen hours of sleep a day, baby! (Forgive my shameful approximation of a Californian accent - in my defense, I've never been there and only have friends' accents and, of course, the turtles from Finding Nemo to go by.) So, what else? Kentucky is drawing nearer by the hour - oh yee haw, baby! We've even been promised a trip to Nashville, Tennessee, home of country music and all! Yes, I do have a soft spot for modern country music, if only because it strikes me as the most surreal thing anyone could listen to, let alone be a fan of. I mean, just look at Garth Brooks - words fail me... Well, I will catch you-alls later, have a nice day, etc.

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E-mail blog attempt failed, apparently

Well, I'm miffed. I wrote some words on my PDA earlier and e-mailed them to Blogger. Wonder what went wrong... I'll find out, I suspect. Seeyalater!

And another...

It must be the weather or something - just tripped over yet another little beauty. Fans of "Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere" will remember the term "ding dang do". Now, for Jiddish people all over the world, this of course rings a completely different bell (pardon the pun). To them, ding dang is a Jiddish Word Processing OS. Look, listen and learn, eh?

You what?

Friends, I just found a nugget of information that I know will be valuable to the many of you out there whose pride and joy is a Rottweiler, or a gerbil, or a sloth, for that matter. The one thing you-all have in common is that your beloved pet will one day be no more; it will (choose your term) kick the bucket, shuffle off, bite the bullet, croak, buy the farm, cash in its chips, conk or simply pass away to wherever it is Spot gets to hang out post mortem. (Side note: my good buddy Billy Goodman and I were going to write a song whose catchline was "if there ain't no dogs in heaven, I ain't go-iiing". We then found out that somebody had apparently written it...) But now, pet lovers, HELP IS AT HAND!!! Yes, finally there's somewhere you can turn to, someone who is guaranteed not to turn a cold shoulder, someone who truly, deeply (and for only a small profit) understands your sorrow, should your dear companion finally give up its ghost. In fact, the ad for this invaluable service came up in Google. Yes, I am happy to disclose what searchphrase I had typed in. And THIS is what I found: PetLossGuide.com is the place to be for all those lamenting the loss of a really close canine or friendly feline. The testimonials alone are worth the visit... To quote Richard Meaden, one of my favourite car journos, in a 1998 issue of the long-dead Performance Car while commenting on a ding inflicted upon his long-term test car: "Can you believe it? What is the world coming to? Have you heard what they're doing to Radio Four?"

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Miracles

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes! Yace! Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!!! There is a God! Not that I was in any serious doubt about that, but THIS is just soooo good! Ladies and gentlemen, here's the noooz: My fabulous wife and I will be adjourning drizzly old Germany for the sunny blue grass of Kentucky in just a very few days! Yace!!! I just hit the town hall in a desperate bid for mercy, expecting to be told that my machine-read passport would take up to six weeks to be produced, and that I could therefore shove my fancy holiday plans (courtesy of the wonderful Brian - see picture below) right up the stovepipe. But no! I HAD been praying for a miracle (and thanks if you did, too), but wasn't necessarily expecting one. I was all the more amazed, therefore, to be told by the uncommonly friendly "Beamter" that, in fact, I could pertain an express passport, taking only a couple of days to be made and costing 91 €. Dude! The guy had the cash in his hand before he'd finished the sentence. This is going to be really, really close - C and I plan to fly out on December the twentysecond. My passport should arrive on the 20th, leaving me just enough time to pick it up before we bug out. Wooooot! I'm bouncing off the walls. Now all I need to do is get this toothache I seem to have developed sorted out and we'll be on the square. Happy days indeed...

Backagin...

So, its Wednesday and I'm finally back at my desk with fingers poised and at least a little time to spend posting. My goodness, those last couple of days were busy... I can't BELIEVE the pictures from the oil tank fire over in Luton. The cloud of smoke is just unreal - it looks like something from a science fiction novel to me. What else? I think I mentioned a while ago that there were some very promising holiday plans in the pipeline. What happened was that we got offered standby airline tickets to go see some friends over in the States. So, C and I got all excited until we realised that I no longer have a valid passport. Now, this used not to be a problem back when we tried (and failed) to go to the States the last time (four years) ago - you would simply go out and get a temporary one. HOWEVER, these days the US of A won't let you in with only a temporary passport, as the Embassy website clearly states. Of course, I rushed out and had new pictures taken (which, apparently, have to meet some sort of new requirements. All I can say is they make my noggin look even worse than usual) and I'm going to hit the "rat house" (town hall) the minute I finish this post. The point is, though, that a regular passport takes about six weeks to be made and sent back to you. Which means our plans will be blown to smithereens unless I can think of some way of coercing, threatening, bribing or cajoling the system otherwise. Now, I understand that in some countries, this isn't an issue. In Germany, though, I firmly expect my chances to be about the same as winning the lottery (I don't play). Oh. Dear. Those of you so inclined, please don't hesitate to ask the heavens for a miracle in my name... Thing is, we would SOOO love to go. It'd be our first proper holiday in yonks, plus we'd get to see some very dear friends and, of course, the Land of the Free (Kentucky). I can't tell you how pissed C was when she turned up the info about no-more-temporary-thank-you. Yes, I know that's a rude word, but I'm afraid it fit the bill here. I've never seen her so close to doing a Basil Fawlty, waving fists at the heavens and all... No, seriously, it will be the disappointment of the year if this falls through. Which is why I will now up and hit the road for that passport. More when I get back... Lol to y'alls

No time for nothing...

Egad! (Does anybody actually know what this term actually means? Please enlighten me - I can't seem to find anything on t'internet to explain it...) Sooo busy again today. Just wrote sumthin' for the other blog, so now there's no time for a decent one here. D'aargh! Tomorrow, okay? Really sorry, people... Okay, one thing: a quick pimp for my friend Dave's re-launched music website. Chekk it out! Sleek style, Dave, I like it. Well, I gotta go, cheerio y'alls!

Signs of Life

Ey up! Just to reassure you that I haven't kicked the bucket, fallen off the edge, flame-grilled my router or anything similar. I have simply been absolutely, fabulously, ludicrously busy like you wouldn't believe. I promise to post more ASAP, though that may be Tuesday the way things are going at present. Okay, here's a selection of the things that have me plate-juggling at the mo'; seminars, wedding parties, lost coats, crashed computers, passports, dodgy dashboard gauges, neighbours, mandolines and lunches at Chilis. I'll catch you-all later - there's tons to blog about... Such as this here (courtesy of Focus Online)...

Ricky-dee-doo-dah

Oh yace! Just tripped on this little gem of a video. The inimitable Ricky Gervais advertising for makepovertyhistory.org with partner-in-crime Merchant. Too blinkin' funny! Check out his podcasts, too... Cheerio!

Pre-christmas madness

Ey up! No post yesterday, sorry about that one. I left the house at about 7:30 AM, got back by about 7 PM and had house group until about 11 PM. Sometimes there's just no way... Speaking of which, I'd been getting a little worried about a.ndy, who'd been very quiet recently. However, a new post popped up on Monday (my blog feeder is being a bit recalcitrant at the moment), so I guess he's okay. What else? Got told off for not having a decent profile, so tried my best to put some words there. I never really know what to say about myself - I mean "brilliant, under-rated musician genius" kind of sums it up. Then again, what with my first bestseller "Humility and How I Achieved It" being available on amazon, I'm not sure whether people might misunderestimate me... Trying to get pics from the Friday night cocktail party up on the blog. However, both my camera and hello are playing up today, so no play today, it seems. Ah. Well. Sigh... I'll just have to do it the old way, then. As you can see, this shot is creaking crap in terms of lighting, focus, colour, etc. However, it's the best I've gotten from my little box brownie so far. It and I have a learning curve up ahead, by the end of which either a) I will have learnt that the cam is rubbish and the cam will head for the bin, or b) I will have sussed out how to get decent footage from it. Well, I ought to be doing some work here. BTW, there may be some very exciting holiday new on the horizon, but I'll brief you when I have details...

guitarshredshow.com - chekk it outt!!!

And here's a re-plug; dudes and gals, all of us who have not been to www.guitarshredshow.com yet should immediately click upon this link to be enlightened. For anyone even remotely musically minded, this has to be one of the funniest places ever coded (especially the "Jam" inside the Mountain of Tapping Dwarves). Plus, as several of my guitar playing friends have confirmed, you might even learn a new lick or two! All the licks are there in audio and sheet music form... I wish I had the time to count the ways for you in which I love this site. As I don't, why continue wasting yours when you could be learning all about Fastfinger's way of the perfect solo? Ah dunno, young people these days... Cheerio

Comments, comments...

ATTENTION CLASS! Or something... Just wanted to state that I believe the comment function is now open for all and sundry. I'm sorry, I hadn't realised it was set to Blogger users only. While I whole-heartedly endorse having your own blog, I have no desire to be dictatorial in whose Blogspace you use... So, anyway, go ahead and let me know wot you think. Just one thing: With tony pierce's recent bollocking of an anonymous comment writer in mind, PLEASE do leave a blog name, an e-mail address or some form in which I could potentially contact you, should your feedback be so thought-provoking/inspirational/North Dakotan that I deeesperately want to get back to you. Okay?

Weekend backlog

Hello Wurld, Sorry for the complete lack of postage since last Thursday. Yes, I was roaringly busy with work, chores, socials, etc. but hey, what kind of excuse is that in our current day and age where constant availability is as common as the flu. So, to compensate, here are my PDA'd scribblings from Friday and Saturday... "Way-ell! Today is suit-and-tie day again and I'm waiting for my 1:00 appointment. This(one out of an endless series of cafeteriae in a nondescript office block) is one place where using a PDA is about as conspicuous as breathing. I'm in IT-land, and a particularly posh part of it at that. Here, people come up and check out what you're using; Blackberries (lust!) are for middle management and above, anything else tends to be privately acquired and not worth the notice unless its obviously new&groovy. My weary old Palm III doesn't as much as raise a flicker on the corporate interest radar. Funny how context-related hipness, or perception of it, is. Scribbling away at uni the other day, I was the target of considerable interest ("Wow, are you taking digital notes, huh? That's cool...") In fact, I was writing a blog entry... Change of scene: I never did finish that entry yesterday. Now, 26 hours, one cocktail party and one time management seminar later I'm back to coffee and blogging. The time management thing was so-so; I'd be tempted to say "waste of time" if it wasn't for the fact that I'm in such dire need for improvement. The old adage about beggars definitely rings true, so even if the trainers's style didn't suit me, there's no way I could not have benefitted. Meeting with some old classmates for drinks now, so I've got to go. Cheerio!" Yup, folks, that's what it was... One busy, but fun weekend. Yesterday was R&R, mooching on the sofa, fast food and lots of sleep. So, now you know! Seeya!

Breaking News

Back again from my exam. Oh. Dear. On the upside, the mail dude brought me a diddy new multi-channel monitor speaker today. Yace! Now I can lug the 'board home to sis'-in-law's birthday extravaganza at the weekend. Cocktails - yeahh! Being a bit random this evening, sorry, haven't had dinner yet, that always makes me skittish. Wot I really wanted to write about is this little gem of motoring news. Yes, I'm a petrolhead, but that is jusht saaad; they caught this cat doing a ton-fifty on the M-way somewhere up in Scotland. Now, speeding is one thing. My boy here was strutting his stuff (in one heck of a nice car) with his mobile phone held to his ear! I'n't that awesome? Okay, be safe, everyone, talk to you soon

Crunch time

Aaggh! Today's the first of all the gazillion exams I will have to take if I really want to pull this studying thing off. Okay, so today's one is only a mock exam that doesn't count for anything, but I'm going to flunk, and I hate that. Yes, I did have enough time to prepare. And no, I'm not blaming anyone except my foolish self for not having done so. D'urrrh! I guess a lot of the kind of "issues" that make my life challenging are down to plain old sloppy time management. If I could bring myself to haul my rear out of bed when my hard-working wife does every morning, that would already make my world a better place. Then again, I've only just come out of a one-year period where I was the one who was always up first, leaving luvvly wifey to yawn coyly and turn over, vainly attempting to hide that smug little grin... Excuses, I know, I know. Whatever the case, I'm going to a time management seminar on Saturday to SORT ME OUT. It's going to be at the beautifully named "Volkshochschule" (go on, just try pronouncing that one quickly while pretending to have a huge, bushy moustache and a name like Heinz or Franz) in downtown Heidelberg and will be held by a Ms Hyphen-Hyphen who is apparently an executive assistant of some kind. Can't wait... Well, I'd better go, but before I do, let me quickly hype the Leicester-based Dissenters founded by the indomitable Jason Smith (yes, he is Welsh) and featuring one of my favourite guitar players, Simon Faulks. Enjoy!