You what?

Friends, I just found a nugget of information that I know will be valuable to the many of you out there whose pride and joy is a Rottweiler, or a gerbil, or a sloth, for that matter. The one thing you-all have in common is that your beloved pet will one day be no more; it will (choose your term) kick the bucket, shuffle off, bite the bullet, croak, buy the farm, cash in its chips, conk or simply pass away to wherever it is Spot gets to hang out post mortem. (Side note: my good buddy Billy Goodman and I were going to write a song whose catchline was "if there ain't no dogs in heaven, I ain't go-iiing". We then found out that somebody had apparently written it...) But now, pet lovers, HELP IS AT HAND!!! Yes, finally there's somewhere you can turn to, someone who is guaranteed not to turn a cold shoulder, someone who truly, deeply (and for only a small profit) understands your sorrow, should your dear companion finally give up its ghost. In fact, the ad for this invaluable service came up in Google. Yes, I am happy to disclose what searchphrase I had typed in. And THIS is what I found: PetLossGuide.com is the place to be for all those lamenting the loss of a really close canine or friendly feline. The testimonials alone are worth the visit... To quote Richard Meaden, one of my favourite car journos, in a 1998 issue of the long-dead Performance Car while commenting on a ding inflicted upon his long-term test car: "Can you believe it? What is the world coming to? Have you heard what they're doing to Radio Four?"

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